anditslove:

“Do you know how lonely that is? To walk through life and not have any one person fully understand you and really, truly see you? But this is my life. And quite honestly, it’s all I’ve ever known.”

(via ilovemraz)

The universe has brought us together and now it’s up to us what we do with what we’ve been handed. I can’t go the rest of my life knowing he exists. Knowing this love exists. Knowing this feeling could be mine for any moment of time. 

I have been looking for the chance to sacrifice everything for love. I don’t want to wake up a single day without him by my side. He has always belonged to me and I have always belonged to him, we were just worlds apart. We have each other now. My life is forever changed. It’s that same knowing I felt when I knew my parents were splitting up, I knew that life would never, ever be the same…I have this feeling now, but this is an amazing feeling and something that doesn’t come around twice. I have found my soulmate. Thank you Universe! You’ve been good to me. 

I want to remember this day, the way the air smelled—the way the laughter pulled us together like magnets, the way my heart skipped a beat every time he smiled, I want to remember. We were in Sweden and we decided to start off the day by following the ever so mysterious Philippino’s as they trenched up a hill into the trees. As we followed them we soon found that they chose this route due to the beauty of it—the air smelled of sea and pine trees. We chose to veer off and make our way to the seaside. We marched past quaint shops with un-readable words for me. People were walking their dogs, sipping their beer, laughing, chatting and just enjoying life; I smiled. We made our way down the dock and as I followed him I pictured us doing this forever. I pictured us headed to our own boat and setting out on an adventure—together—as lovers and friends. We took a seat on the end of the dock and watched all the sailboats pull in. He stood up to help tie one up and I could see that he was excited to tie a boat knot—he was proud he remembered how. 

Sitting there gazing into the Baltic off the coast of Sweden I tried with my whole heart not to kiss him, or worse, fall in love with him. He started speaking about his old self at 19 and how he would have jumped into the sea and done some crazy swim. He wanted to jump in, this much I knew, but we were fully clothed so he didn’t. To calm my beating heart and racing mind, I took the initiative and put away my watch, took off my top and cannon balled into the cold ass Baltic Sea, all-the-while not feeling his eyes leave my white body. He didn’t have to follow, but I knew he would and he did. Then and there we shared a kiss in the water on the coast of Sweden on that hot, summer day and the thoughts in my mind began again, though briefly shocked by the cold water. I fell in love.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of old stories and family tales while drinking back local beer. I don’t want to lose this one. He is magnificent. Now anytime I hear Sweden, to me, Sweden will ALWAYS be that day.

I remember seeing him the day I signed on-board. I was dancing poolside on deck 11 and he walked by on deck 12 looking down at me and waved. I thought he was so cute, but a guy like that would have to be taken. Not thinking anything else of him I couldn’t help but run into him over and over again..this happens when you live on a ship. Knowing how I am, I knew I would not pursue anything with him, because single is what I am and single is what I’m good at. Then, “the” night came.

The night we had one too many beers was the night I knew he was the guy I would spend my life with. I didn’t know at first, but our conversation melted us together and drew us closer in. I ended up being a drunk idiot and dressing up like a German girl and dancing around the party and he whispered in my ear that he watched me while I changed. Our lust pulled us into the hallway where we opened up to each other like best friends, like two people who have lived the same life in different parts of the world. I asked him who he wanted on-board and he leaned in and kissed me—it’s been 6 months and he hasn’t stopped kissing me. I hope he never does. 

Love exists! Never settle because you really can have it all. 

xx